Next week around this time, I would have to go for volunteering. Volunteering is not that much fun. It is awkward for me to speak and interact with the residents when I am normally not all that friendly or warm. Sometimes, I didn't know what to say or I could understand.

While going through part of the four hours of the second volunteering session, I felt like sending an email to the volunteer coordinator to quit. I didn't see myself being of any use or helping out with anything. And there was a strange smell around the centre filled with cigarette and coffee.

Then the volunteer after my shift came in and he placed his bible on the table. he looked like a friendly middle-aged guy with a tummy and a chuckle so i thought it would be good to understanding more about the volunteering situation.

He shared with me that he was the fire chief of the city and often had to deal with people on the worst days of their lives. But he would only see them for a short time and could not really give much support to them. He imagined that he would build good relations with the residents and have a good chat with the residents but he later realised that it was not the case. Many of them came from a very colourful and successful background, but because of unemployment, betrayal of family members, or many other reasons, the spiral sank deeper and deeper. Eventually, they found themselves fighting for survival on the streets or just trying to live by day. For some, they spent years living this way. Mishandled and misunderstood by people like us, it has become extra difficult for them to break out of the cycle of poverty and dismantle the roots of mistrust. Although their physical needs are being met, many still struggle from illnesses and many other worries. It breaks my heart that they are such a broken people but also because of my reaction and the hesitance on my part to approach them.

Yet we are also such broken and weak people, ugly with sin but by His love and mercy has chosen to save us from our condemning sins. Teach me to be humble, teach me to be loving, to be patient, to be joyful, to be hopeful that the little mustard seed will grow in time because of You.