Whitewashed tombs

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day,’ lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?” Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’
Matthew 7: 21

Watching Washer’s sermon with Jo during reading week was one of the best activities that I did during reading week. Much was said about carnal Christians and the worldly things we do; many of us have conformed into the ways of the world, to act like the world, to speak like the world. As I ponder more about God’s word, it has come to me that there are too many sinful spots in my life. I certainly don’t murder or commit crimes, but like everyone, I judge; I complain; I whine, and the list could go on forever. Like everyone else. It is very clear to me that I am a wretched worm-sinful and undeserving of the grace of God.

I had been a lukewarm Christian for a longtime. There has even been times when I doubted if I had truly accepted the word of God. For example, I found it hard to share my testimony with others. I knew it wouldn’t be a problem if the Holy Spirit is within me. Now, I’m extremely joyful to say that I’ve departed from that stage, but having gone through that stage of knowing God but not understanding Him, I can say that it’s really easy to remain stuck in the same spot. This verse from Matthew 23 has also been in my mind

“ you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean.”

Since coming to UW, I’ve had the chance to encourage some brothers who are falling away from God. I have to confess too that I often don’t say grace before my meals but I always remember to say it in front of my relatives (who know I’m a Christian) and when I’m having a meal with other Christian brothers and sisters. To my non-Christian friends, I think I would appear as a somewhat “religious” person. Reading this verse reminds me of all the times that I’ve been like a whitewashed tomb.

It’s so awful. It’s so so awful.

This prayer, I pray to my Lord. I confess that I’m too much like the world, I’m a disgusting hypocrite. I don’t want to be one Lord. I want to be reflecting your love and Glory, Father.