Reflections 09

My first term of school in university passed as quickly as it came.
So at the end of my first 4 months in a new environment, what have I learnt? It's hard to sum it up in words but I'll try.

Greens: Fresh
When I came, it was summerish. Plenty of trees and shrubs about, it even reminded me a little of the garden city of Singapore. But then again, not everything that's green is that pleasant. Certainly not the rampant green Canadian geese poop.

A green froshie. I wasn't that typical a froshie though, cause I live off campus.
1. I had my first taste of a sub from Subway. Ordinary.
2. Erm...why are we still using green/black boards? I don't want to sound too harsh but that's 2 levels beneath Asia. They have glass boards now; even white boards are passe
3.green. good for eyes.

Yellows and Oranges: Food!

FOOD! This shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone. Hmmm...I think by now, it should be pretty obvious that I gained a lot of weight. After all, that's what every frosh goes through (i think i was the only one -_-) My appetite surged and it's been up ever since. It must be something about the cookies that my sister is baking. Or maybe something is really wrong with me. A more possible explanation is that school is just too dreary, so people (eg moi) turn to food to find comfort (I'm not an advocate of binging, even if I do so sometimes).

Reds:The bad times

The trough was the laptop incident. There were others too.
Although Amanda did most of the household work outside the realm of cooking (Jo stills wields the knife and pans), I still felt a burden from the basic household chores. How I appreciate my mum and my dad! (not that A and J didn't take good care of me) This term, panda is away ("Somewhere out there" is the perfect song to sing when u're missing someone). It remains to be seen if I can be "independent" and survive this term.

C'est dommage...but on reflection, I don't think I fully understood His showers of grace and mercy. I kept up with dgs and fellowship nights but I have to say that it was more of an on-and-off relationship with God. I was one of the dreadful, unrepentant, stoned, lukewarm Christians. I recognised that I was in such a position and wanted to make a change, but the desire to renew my spirit and faith was not firm nor strong enough. I remained unchallenged and guilty of my inaction but not guilty enough to spur a revival or commit anything to God.

And then was the post-ccf discussion about the cost of following Jesus. I'm always stumped at these discussion and either have nothing to say or I'm too ashamed to say anything. Well, obviously my poor knowledge in the word of God has something to do with my lack of response. At that point too, it occurred to me that I was speechless because I haven't paid the cost of following Jesus. He was not the center of my life. I had not surrendered all to Him.
Matthew 5:
13"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.

These words hit me hard. It wrenched my heart to see these words. I was so close to Him, yet so far from Him.

I knew I only had to reach my hand out to Him.

So for the past few days, I've been reminded of the colour red. Red for my sins. The crimsons of my lies, my hurts, my guilt, my pain. The precious blood of Jesus that washed these away! Joy, joy, joy!

It's impossible to count all the blessings that God has given me the last term. I've been through the greens, yellows, orange and red. Those were brilliant hues; but now, it's time for the white.

" Oh! precious is the flow
That makes me white as snow;
No other fount I know,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus. "